I volunteer with the Humane Society of Mo but this isn’t the point.  I brought my water bottle with me because it’s getting warm outside.  It’s a great water bottle that normally retails for $20 but I got for $40 on a huge clearance sale.  It was a great purchase and even the cashier couldn’t believe the price when it was rung up.  I was so exhausted on Saturday that I left without my water bottle.  I forgot all about it.  There are tons of people that go through that place, and anyone of them could have walked off with my water bottle.  It sat in the open of the staff area for two full days.  I was convinced it would be gone as lots of things get taken from there.  I went anyways and was shocked to find it still there.

It made me think about human decency.  The right thing isn’t always the easy thing and anyone could have walked off with my water bottle without a fuss.  They didn’t though.  It was refreshing to have people do the right thing even if it was over something small.

Do you ever feel like you spend too much time watching TV?  I mean that is time that you don’t spend reading, writing, or creating anything.  I know I love TV.  I get hooked on TV shows all the time and watch them in marathon runs.  I just love to consume, consume, consume.  One day I challenged myself though with a single thought.  I asked myself “If tomorrow you somehow came into enough money to never work again what would you do?”  I had trouble with this question.  I started by thinking of what I would like to do with the ability to become an entrepreneur but had no idea what business I would start.  Nothing sounded good to me.  What worried me is that I would become a couch potato in the extreme sense because I loved movies and TV Shows.  I love to spend my free time doing nothing as it refreshes, relaxes, and rejuvenates me.  I wouldn’t want that to be my life though.

I pondered this thought for an entire weekend and by Sunday night I began feeling upset that I truly could not figure out what I would do that would make me happy.  How would I spend my time, and what would I make of it.  I stopped and cleared my head.  I was clearly over thinking this which was making it worse.  When I cleared my head out it struck me as being so obvious.  I would first move somewhere on the west coast (NOT LA) and live near the ocean.  Maybe even somewhere in Mexico or an island in the Caribbean.  I need to be warm and near the ocean however.  Then I would take some time to do nothing.  This is to allow me to reset myself and leave the mundane repetitiveness that comes with almost any job.  Once I felt good again I would begin writing a my existential thoughts.

I have always loved existential writing as it just fits me naturally. I am always pondering the meaning of life, how everything is connected, and the purpose or reason behind everything that happens.  I can see it clearly in my life and the better I get to know someone the more I can see it in them as well.  I always understood what authors like Henry David Thoreau were talking about.  I get it.  I love exploring it.  I would try to live simple because without the clutter and chaos of life I find myself.  I learn this every time I go on vacation.  Life just isn’t like that…yet.  I have faith that it won’t always be like this but in the mean time I am going to push myself to try and write my existential thoughts.  I am going to try and put my own mark on what this crazy thing called life is all about.  I’m not saying I will have all the answers but I am saying I have some ideas.  All I can do is post my ideas and hope others see what I see.

For many years now I have had a problem with serialized dramas.  If your not sure what I am talking about serialized dramas are shows that tell an elaborate story which a piece of this story being shown each week.  Shows like 24, Prison Break, Heroes were all serialized dramas.  These were the rage for about five years but because there was no elegant way to continue nor end these shows they have fallen to the way side.  Boy did they have a hay day though.

My problem with them is that when they are good I get addicted.  I go on these marathon sprees with these shows where I cannot stop watching them.  When the first season of 24 came out my best friend bought it on DVD.  I had never watched the show but he insisted I see it.  Well I was instantly hooked and watching it straight for about 16 hours.  I had finished the entire first season in two days (would have been one but boy did my eyes hurt towards the end) because of this sickness I have.  There is something about the overreaching story archs, complicated characters, and complex story lines.  They keep me wanting more, and enthralled with what’s going on.  I always say to myself “just one more episode” but it’s never just one more because when I say that after watching 10 episodes straight then clearly I am not going to stop.

They are not without their flaws however.  Take Heroes for example.  I absolutely loved that show and the first season was so powerful.  The problem came in two parts.  The first admittedly was  unavoidable and that was the writers strike.  It cut their second season in half, and the second season is very important to any show.  It determines if a show will last or fizzle out.  Well it threw off the pace of the show, left a huge gap and wrecked the planned out story line.  The second problem was that the show lost itself.  What I mean by that is story lines were started and dropped with zero explanation.  It became convoluted and confusing.  The heroes and villains of the show became too powerful which created unbeatable characters.  It took away suspense, tension, and worry for the well being of the characters when you knew they were not going anywhere.  The show went from incredible highs to dizzying lows because of these two problems. 

The other problem with the serialized drama is that you cannot gain new viewers.  Let’s switch to Lost.  That was not a show you could just join in season two.  However season one came out on DVD just before season two began airing.  That means you had to record one season, filling up your DVR, while watching season one as quickly as possible.  Most people don’t have the time, or will power to catch up to these shows since it’s much easier to just not watch them.  I know it leaves you out of some conversations but hey you live.  I never watched lost, a highly talked about and popular show, but suffered no consequences in my active social life because of it. 

That second problem I believe is what ultimately drove networks to quit on serialized dramas.  We are not at the start of the re-emergence of the sitcom.  Modern Family has paved the way for this and I am predicting more family style sitcoms arriving on televisions this fall.  ABC has jumped on this naturally and soon enough others will too.  Dramas will still have a strong presence but as stated they will be episodic and not serialized.

Did you like the serialized drama?  If so what was your favorite one?

Often times I find myself drifting around.  What I mean is that I dabble in video, photography, writing, and many other creative endeavors.  I drift between them depending on how I feel, what’s going on, and the amount of spare time in my life.  I find myself pulled back to writing so here I am.  I know it’s not fair for me to write and leave endlessly in a broken cycle but you know that’s just me.  I don’t anticipate getting a strong following on my blog and I am okay with that.  I am okay with it because in the end I am still true to myself.

For some reason when I feel the pull for writing I also feel the pull for music.  I assume most people do but for me music and writing have always gone hand in hand.  It’s like one fuels the other and they flow back and forth.  I always fall in love with both all over again at the same time.  Pandora is great for these times because my station on The Ramones fuels with all sorts of punk rock greatness. 

Anyways I am writing with no real purpose other then to explain my reason for coming and going from Xanga so randomly.  I have read the blog posts posted here through my e-mail subscriptions but rarely comment because I find myself at a loss of words most of the time.  Since I don’t know what to say I say nothing.  Makes sense really.

Hope everyone is doing great and expect to see more soon.  Thanks everybody!

I was over reading Diva Jyoti’s blog where she talks about how a random encounter lead to someone on Xanga verbally attacking her and generally acting insane.  I posted why I think this happened over on her blog but I also felt it needed some further discussion here since we all know that Drama reigns supreme on Xanga and pretty much always has.  My account doesn’t show it but I have been on here since 2003 and I have seen it all.

I have been both the cause and the affected of Internet Drama.  Ever since I had my thyroid burned out though (I had grave’s disease) I have mellowed out so much that I am pretty good at deflecting these things now and no longer am the cause of it.  I digress though because there are still plenty of people who do create Drama.  Often over things that don’t require getting so worked up about.  Why is that?

It’s because our lives are not as exciting as the stories we are told.  Sounds funny I know but seriously it’s true.  I am going to be using Kurt Vonnegut to explain it from here on out.  You can view this as well here http://sivers.org/drama where I learned all about this.

So we will start by showing a empty graph.  Time move left to right and Ecstasy is at a zero.  Nothing is going on here.

Now let’s take a look at a classic tale that we are all familiar with.  Cinderella!

You see we have very low lows and dizzying highs.  That feeling of Ecstasy and disappointment is all over the place for that time line.  It’s incredible.  People love this story and what little girl did not love or want to be Cinderella.  Also what guy wouldn’t love to swoop in, steal a beautiful girls heart, and live happily ever after.  Guys love being the hero and girls want to be princesses.  It’s stereotypical obviously so don’t get mad if you disagree.  This is a story that has been told thousands of times in all different languages.  It’s a very familiar story that kids would love to live.

Let’s take a look at another graph where we have the catastrophic disaster.

This is another classic tale (see summer blockbuster movies) where you have a normal life, then something awful happens, and then you go back to your normal life but a little better because you have a new appreciation for normal.  We all come together, everything is great again, and we overcame tragedy.  People love this over conquering the odds to save the day story.  It’s fun and makes us again wish we were the heroes.

Now let’s take a look at a typical life.

You see what’s missing here.  Generally it’s a straight line with a few minor ups and downs.  There’s no tragic lows that bond us for more than a little while, and the highs are never high enough.  No we don’t typically experience the type of adventure, and ecstasy that stories tell us we should.  Our lives are nothing like the stories and fairy tales we read and internalize.  Real life is a whole lot more boring.

So what do people do with this generally flat existence?  They start creating drama, and building in the highs and lows that just are not there.  People will feel like it needs to be there in order for their life to be something.  It’s why we have gossip, rumors, and yes a lot of the drama you see on Xanga.  We have been taught that life should be lived in extremes and so when we are living in the middle we try to find ways to build in those dips and heights.

So now you all know the truth.  The next time you see someone on Xanga stirring up drama for no reason then send them this and they will realize just what they are doing and why they feel compelled to do it.

We all know that companies brand themselves everyday.  If I say “Just Do It” or “Think Differently” you know I am referring to Nike and Apple.  This kind of awareness is not on accident and in fact is carefully planned out to build an image around that company.  It’s meant to make you see them in  the way they want you to see them.  Nike makes sports apparel so they want you to be competitive, and get out there to win.  Just Do It Already!  Apple has tried to be its own unique company that is out to break the mould everywhere they go.  Think about the spark they have lit in the MP3, Mobile Phone, and just recently the Tablet computer market.  They want you to view all these things differently and when you do to think of Apple.  They are innovating and changing markets everywhere they go.

Have you ever thought about a persons brand through?  We all have on whether or not you realize it.  If I say Tom Cruise you may think crazy, Scientologist, or even great actor, and action star.  You see his brand was one way in the 80′s and 90′s but has changed in recent years and it has made it difficult for him to sell people on his movies.

And then of course there is your own personal brand.  It’s what people think of when your name is spoken.  It’s what people see in their mind when you’re brought up in conversation.  This is the most important brand that you need to be worried about and it’s probably the last one you ever thought about.  This might sound silly but it’s very true.  Authors, directors, and artists have known this for a long time.  They work hard to cultivate a specific image.  Are you projecting the image you want?  Are people thinking about you in the right terms and if not then why?  These are serious questions that are important for you to understand about yourself.  Have you ever been overlooked for a promotion, or gotten an interview only to never hear from them again?  It could be because your brand is not aligning with what they are looking for.  The clothes you wear, the accessories you use, the way you walk and talk all give people an impression of you.  It’s all part of your overall brand.  It tells people what kind of person you are.  If you’re applying for a job and show up to the interview with messy hair, wearing jeans, and a wrinkled t-shirt then what do you think they see you as?  Lazy, unmotivated, and ultimately not what they are looking for.   Now take that same interview and you show up dressed in a suit, or business appropriate attire, clean, made up, and prepared.  The image is much different.  In each scenario you may have been qualified for the job but in only one did you show you were qualified.  You created a brand that told them about who you are before ever saying a word.

It’s time you take control of that brand and start letting people in on who you want them to see.  It’s time for you to step up and be CEO of ME Inc.

There are points in my life where I find myself nostalgic.  Not necessarily for the way things were but for the friends I had and have since lost touch with.  My personality type is unique in that I am fine on my own, but also with a group.  I adapt to my given situation.  However because of this, and because of life in general, I often gain and lose friends along the way.  Sometimes because they are nowhere to be found (even with social networking they find a way to be invisible) but mostly because life takes us in different directions.

It’s not that I am sad that we move apart since I realized a long time ago that it happens.  You cannot avoid it and that’s what happens in life.  No it’s something more than that and it’s hard to put my finger on it.  It’s like I want to still be the friend I was too them but the boat has sailed and there is no going back.  You see life moves on with or without you.  As my life changes so does theirs and sometimes it makes it difficult to stay in touch or find that spark that once united you in friendship.  I start thinking how close we might have been in sometime in the past and how usually we just drift a part.  There was nothing to break the friendship, and it leaves you almost without a sense of closure.  Almost feeling incomplete like there was more to be said and done but it’s too late. 

You can’t change the fact that two people sometimes move parallel and then split for no reason other than that’s where life takes you.  It’s difficult to come to terms with but it must be accepted.

Have you ever lost a friend only to find yourself years later reminiscing about where they are or what they are doing?  Have you reconnected with them and if so what came out of it?

  You ever have a really good nap?  I don’t mean a half hour I’m gonna rest my eyes nap but a full blown it’s 2 in the afternoon but I can’t keep my eyes open fall asleep on the couch with the TV on kind of nap.  Those are the naps that your body can’t stop and loves so much.  For some reason during those naps you will never sleep deeper, better, or feel so warm.  Not hot mind you but comfortable warm. 

I say this because yesterday I fell asleep for 4 hours.  It wasn’t intentional but clearly needed.  I don’t nap like that often but when I do it feels so good.  I can’t understand though why those naps are so much more restful than any sleep I ever get.  It’s better than my normal night time sleep.  It’s so good in fact that it is very difficult to wake up from.  Even when something or someone makes me get up I find for an hour or more afterwards that I am a bit out of it.  Almost in between sleep and awake.  I can’t shake it off.  My body almost cries out for more.  As if I could never awake from these naps but be completley happy with that all the same.  I don’t know why that is or what these naps do to my body that causes them to feel this way but it is undeniable.

Have you ever experienced a nap this good and does it make you feel the same way?

I thought I understood how the cost of car insurance was figured in.  I must have thought wrong.

When I was 24, and still had an at fault accident on my record I understood why my price might be a bit high.  I was always taught that turning 25, and avoiding accidents however would lower my car insurance premiums.  I sit here today at 26, accident free for 5 years, and yet my premiums with my current insurance agency went up?  I am not sure I understand why and nowhere on the bill does it make it clear how the cost was figured.  Do car insurance companies not realize that they are in a price war right now?  Do they not understand that I can get a quote on any reputable website in 5 minutes?  This is the 1950′s where I had to call a lot of places and take careful notes where it might be more difficult to switch then it’s worth.  No this is 2010 where it’s the opposite.  It’s very easy to switch. 

Well after the e-mail with the new price I got the mail today and in it was a letter from my insurance company with renewed cards encouraging me to sign back up.  Almost tricking into thinking I had but they are wrong.  I have no intention of paying them inflated prices.

I went on a competitors site today and found I could save over $600 by switching.  That’s insane.  Of course I would switch.  It’s the exact same coverage for a whole lot cheaper.  The real question is why one company can save $600 over another?  How can they possibly be calculating rates that drastically different?  It makes no sense but you hear in the commercials everyday about how people save money by switching.  I think more transparency by the car insurance companies is needed because this is madness. 

Have you ever felt ripped off by your insurance company only to find you you were being ripped off?